


Of Gods and Mortals

by RevanchismRules



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Intersex Loki (Marvel), M/M, No Incest, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2019-09-06 02:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16823404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RevanchismRules/pseuds/RevanchismRules
Summary: Loki leaves Asgard in search of something worthy of his time. In doing so, he meets a most intriguing mortal named Sherlock Holmes. The duo hit it off and go on to terrorize/charm anyone who has the pleasure/misfortune of meeting them!





	1. A New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive Criticism is welcome. As is any recommendations. This will be my first published work on here. I will update warnings as needed, currently the only warning is that there may be past rape mentioned in a future chapter, but will not feature a flashback or anything of that nature.

Green eyes peeked out from behind a stream of ebony hair and surveyed the street intently, watching for any sign of danger, sensing none, their owner allowed himself to relax. Cautiously the man makes his way down the dark alleyway casting a suspicious glance behind him. A loud clang rings out causing the man to tense. He could just barely make out voices.

Then a man spoke in gruff voice “Now what’ve we got here? Looks like a posh brat boys. Let’s take his money and leave.”

“Robbers. Of course. Where’s Lestrade when I need him.” Another voice stated, seeming almost bored.

Intrigued the green eyed man wandered closer and finally was able to see the speakers. A tall young man with dark curly hair stood surrounded by three other men.

The leader of the trio was very muscular and stood in front of the curly-haired man with a venomous glare. _Now this is interesting_ the man thought to himself. Annoyed by the curly-haired man’s bored gaze the leader of the gang of thugs drew his fist back. In an instant the thug leader’s hand was caught by the green eyed man. “Go now, before it’s too late!” He said. “Who’re you?!” “Someone you don’t want to mess with” the green eyed man hissed eyes glinting dangerously. Finally their sense of self-preservation seemed to kick in and they fled.

“Thanks” the young man said, looking intently at the green eyed man.

“Are you alright?” “Hmm? Oh yes, of course I’m fine. But who are you?” the young man asked. “Oh, I apologize. My name is Loki” the green eyed man said feeling quite embarrassed for not introducing himself.

“Ahhh. I’m Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective.” Sherlock’s eyes quickly ran over Loki, cataloging every detail. Loki immediately felt himself tense under the scrutiny, unsure of the searching gaze. Finally, Sherlock’s eyes snapped back up to Loki’s. “You’re not from around here. You’ve only just arrived. Furthermore, you are without housing and have no friends or family who live nearby to call on. Would you like to stay with me? Since John moved out to his new house with Mary, I have an extra room” Sherlock said, pinning Loki with his intense gaze.

There was a pause as Loki’s mind whirled and at last he managed to get out a response. “I- I am alone and without aid, I would very much appreciate your offer to share quarters. But how did you know all of that?”

Sherlock smiled, obviously pleased. “Well your dress and hair say foreign, you wandered down an alley alone and without any bags which says that you don’t have anything of value or anyone you’re close to nearby” Sherlock quickly exclaimed.

“That makes a lot of sense actually. So you don’t mind me staying with you?” Loki asked, emerald eyes wide and expressive. _There’s something about this mortal. He seems to be… different for lack of a better description. I’ll enjoy spending time with someone intelligent for once._

“Of course not, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want you to come” Sherlock said, blue eyes staring directly into Loki’s emerald ones.

After arriving at Sherlock’s flat, Loki found himself to be even more intrigued. The skull displayed in plain sight, as well as the sheer clutter of seemingly unorganized material caught Loki’s attention. Loki watches the other man intently as he moves. _Hmmm I wonder if he has anyone he cares about. He did mention a John and a Lestrade, so perhaps he does have friends and hasn’t been as unfortunate as I. He doesn’t look to be anything special, of course he’s handsome, but nothing hints at his remarkable intelligence._ Loki wandered deeper into his thoughts.

“Oh we’re at this point already? I’m sorry Loki, but you should know that I consider myself to be married to my work” Sherlock said, snapping Loki out of his thoughts.

Loki shakes his head, trying to process Sherlock’s words. “What?”

“Oh, we’re in denial are we? Hmmm… Not my problem.” Sherlock muttered.

“I still don’t understand.”

“You’ll figure it out, eventually.”

“Sherlock! Why won’t you tell me?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I did. As I said, denial.”

“What exactly am I denying?”

“Loki, you should come with me tomorrow to meet a…. friend of mine.”

“Will this help me understand?”

“I believe it shall.”

When Sherlock mentioned a friend, Loki had assumed it would be one of the people he had mentioned the previous night. Loki therefore was not expecting a mousy young woman, who kept making eyes at Sherlock. The woman hadn’t even said a word to him, too focused on the detective. Honestly, who does she think she is? She doesn’t need to be buzzing around him, like some sort of lovestruck harpy! _What is she doing? She better not even think of touching **my** mortal! _

As Molly placed her hand on Sherlock’s shoulder, a loud growl filled the morgue, making her jump. Loki froze, mind spinning. “I- Did I just make that noise?” Loki asked, eyes wide.

“Yes, that’s interesting, very interesting. Well, goodbye Molly, until next time. Let’s go Loki.”

Back at Baker Street, Sherlock was studiously avoiding Loki’s glare and demands. Finally, an aggravated Loki tosses a bauble at Sherlock, causing him to finally meet Loki’s gaze.

“There really was no need for that.” Sherlock said, voice deep and accusing.

Loki growled once more, then flushed in embarrassment. “I am a God, you dull creature! You will not ignore me!”

Sherlock’s eyes narrow. “Hmmm…. I didn’t think that you were insane, though I suppose I should’ve considered it.” He glares at Sherlock, not liking that his new friend thinks him a lunatic. Sherlock for once is rendered speechless as Loki creates a green flame in his hand.

“Still think me crazy, mortal?” Loki asks with a mischievous grin.

“No, I suppose not. After all when you remove the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable must be the truth. Though you could be a mutant and not an actual God.”

Loki snorts “I was proclaimed to be a God by your kind. And since you mortals lead such fleeting lives, and my lifespan should exceed your own by several thousand years, there is little harm in considering me as such.”

“And why is a God such as yourself alone without anyone else for help?” While Sherlock asks the question, he looks like he already knows the answer.

Loki glares “I’ve never been particularly well-liked. I’m not brawny and idiotic enough for my people, not like my perfect brother!”

“So, you are lonely and hate your brother. I understand that well enough. My brother tries to control my life and pretends to be superior, few can tolerate me for long. Those that do have their own lives, unfortunately.”

Loki cocks his head looking intrigued “That’s why you were so willing to let me come home with you?”

Sherlock shrugs, “You are not normal. Normal is boring. I was intrigued by you and your bearing. You hold yourself differently than most people.”

“I am a prince! I’m used to giving commands, not that everyone was always willing to follow them, especially if my brother contradicted them.” Loki rolls his eyes at the last part and Sherlock stifles a laugh. For all of Loki’s talk of being a God and a prince, he acted very human.


	2. Sudden Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mentions past rape.

“Have you realized what you’ve been denying?” Sherlock asks, sounding almost bored as he lounges on the couch.

Loki fixes him with a glare, “No. I’m not sure what meeting your “friend” had to do with me.”

Sherlock sighs petulantly “You’re jealous. You made that quite clear.”

Loki pauses, considering the mortals words _. I did act abnormally, but I still don’t understand why. Sherlock has been kind to me thus far, but why should I be upset with a female throwing herself at him. I should be happy for him… Why am I not? Perhaps I wanted her attention? No… I scarcely remember her face, I certainly don’t desire her._ Aloud he says, “I have no desire for your friend.”

“Obviously,” Sherlock says as though it makes perfect sense.

Loki frowns, he loathes no knowing, especially when someone else clearly does. _What else is there to be jealous of? The mortal was not paying attention to you, is that what was wrong?_ Loki sighs, surely, he’s not that conceited, after all he’s perfectly used to being ignored in favor of others. _Or perhaps you don’t want the mortal to receive that kind of attention from anyone but yourself. WHAT??? No. No. I am not attracted to him… he’s handsome of course, but I don’t want him in that way. I don’t. This is not happening._

“Loki? You may not be human, but I’m fairly confident that you still need to breathe,” Sherlock states, sounding concerned.

It’s at that point that Loki realizes that he feels rather light headed. Had he truly not been breathing? Maybe that’s for the best…

“Loki, that is not good either. You’re hyperventilating. Slow down and take a deep breath”

Loki stares at the mortal. Everything is happening too quickly. He can’t catch his breath and the mortal wants him to slow down? Despite his misgivings, Loki tries to pause and take a breath but its shallow and doesn’t help. Still, Sherlock seems pleased, so he does it again. Eventually he starts to feel a bit better and Sherlock looks relieved.

“I am going to die,” Loki says rather dramatically, slumping over in defeat.

“Why exactly is that?”

The God glances at the mortal but decides that it doesn’t matter since he already obviously is aware. “I’m attracted to you.”

“And?”

Loki frowns, that was not the reaction he was expecting at all. “That’s all you have to say? I think you’re handsome and am jealous of a woman giving you attention, because I would rather be doing so, and that’s what you ask?”

Sherlock sighs “What would you have me ask?”

“Why I’m such a disgusting freak of nature for one!”

That gives the mortal pause. “Homophobic upbringing then. Should have seen that, there’s always something…”

Loki narrows his eyes, “I don’t know what that means, but if you think that I will take an insult-“

Sherlock rolls his eyes at that “Honestly, you can be more creative. You sound like a stereotypic villain with such threats. Besides that, it simply means that you were raised to believe that same sex relations were wrong.” At Loki’s incredulous stare, he elaborates “It’s not wrong. Or disgusting. Or whatever else you’ve been led to believe. What harm is there in being with someone that’s the same gender as you?”

The God is stiff, body radiating tension. “Do you truly believe that?”

“Of course. Sex is a biological process that humans and some other species use for pleasure. If everything is consensual, why is one way more wrong than another?”

“It seems… lesser somehow.”

“Because you’ve been taught to believe it is so.”

Loki nods, seeming to accept his words. “That is believable. For centuries I believed that seidr was less valuable than weapons training, simply because that is what we were always told. I can’t count the number of times that my seidr has saved my brother and his friends.”

“There you have it. People hate when things go against the norm. Then they lash out at it and deride it as lesser.”

Loki glances a him. “And you? Do you enjoy relationships with men?”

Sherlock scoffs “I don’t do relationships. Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side.”

“Do you have sex with men then?”

“I consider myself to be asexual.” At Loki’s look of confusion, he clarifies. “I don’t desire sex with anyone. It’s a messy bodily function that I don’t feel the need to participate in.”

Loki can’t quite hide the look of disappointment on his face. The God slumps back in his chair, appearing rather undignified for once.

“There’s no need to sulk.”

Loki glares, “I’m not sulking. I am just a bit disappointed that I don’t have any hope of being with you in any capacity. You’re the first person who’s truly interested me. You’re clever, and handsome, and- The point is that I like you, but I accept that you don’t feel the same about me.”

Sherlock sighs, “It’s not personal you know. I tell everyone the same thing. Or I would if they’d ask me. Most people tend to be much less direct than you.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult.”

“Simply a fact.”

“You’ve truly never had a relationship with a man?”

“Nope. I presume you haven’t either?”

Loki’s face darkens visibly “A relationship? No. Sex…. Technically.”

Sherlock raises a brow “What exactly does technically mean?”

Loki glares at the mortal, green eyes narrowing as he tries to gauge the detective’s motive for asking. “You haven’t read the myths? I was young and foolish. There was a stallion and I as a mare was caught and …. used ….. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant experience. And then later I naively led myself into the same situation with a Jotun in place of a horse. If sex between men is like either of those experiences, I’d be asexual too.”

For once in his life, Sherlock is at a loss for words. Loki takes his silence as judgment for his actions. “Now you’re disgusted by me too. I shouldn’t have said anything. Thor and his friends always mocked me- “

“That’s horrible. Truly. I’m sorry that you experienced that.”

Loki’s jaw snaps shut. It takes a bit for him to comprehend what’s been said and longer before he accepts that the mortal is serious and not mocking him. “Thank you,” he says, not quite knowing what to say. No one has ever done anything other than mock him for what he’d gone through. The duo sits together for a few hours more, neither are quite sure what to say to the other. Loki is having trouble comprehending the mortal’s words. _Does he truly feel that way about what happened to me? I suffered, and it hurt me at the time and still wounds me now, but no other has ever said anything like that to me. I expected ambivalence or contempt, but sympathy?_

Sherlock, meanwhile, is contemplating over Loki’s actions and words. The man is suffering from some internalized homophobia, but if his only experience with homosexual relationships had been what he’d said… it’s a wonder that the God was not more violently opposed to the idea. As it was, he’d seemed to accept that homosexuality was not as bad as he’d been led to believe. But how to convince him that it truly was alright? _There must be some way to help him. I’m no matchmaker, nor are any of my friends. Well Mary would probably enjoy trying to set Loki up with someone, but a God with a mortal? Loki would not accept many people as a lover, he’d made that much clear. With his past, he needs someone who can understand and help him, and who he’ll trust. The average person is out of the question and who does that leave? Me. I don’t do sentiment, or relationships, or sex, but if anyone is going to help him understand, it’s going to have to be me._


	3. Loneliness Needs Company

After mulling over his options for the night, Sherlock formulated a plan and had explained it to Loki that morning. Unfortunately, the god had taken offense to Sherlock’s proposal. “I’m not a child, you don’t have to try and pacify me. I may not have much experience with lovers, but even I know that this is a horrible idea!”

Sherlock shakes his head “You’re being difficult. It’s what you want- “

Loki scoffs “I don’t want you to pretend to love me! That’s going to be worse than simply being rejected.” The God is sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed, a sign that Sherlock has learned means he’s uncomfortable, as when he’s relaxed his legs are splayed.

“-and it’s simple. I’m just going to show you how a relationship should work, it’s not as bad as you make it out to be.”  _ At least I hope it’s not.  _ Truthfully Sherlock isn’t so sure that things will work out.

“No, absolutely not. I’d rather be alone than go through that. I despise deception.”

“You’re the God of lies,” Sherlock says exasperatedly.

Loki rolls his eyes completely unimpressed, “And do you think I have a good opinion of myself? I’m fairly certain we both know the answer to that.”

“You’re being very difficult.”

“I excel at that. Why do you even want to do this anyhow? It seems like it goes against your nature from what you’ve told me..”

Sherlock pauses, truthfully, he hadn’t considered his own reasons. It wasn’t the usual boredom- relationships aren’t supposed to be very exciting after all. The detective considers his actions for a few minutes before responding “I hadn’t thought about it before, but the real reason is that I don’t like being alone. It gets old very quickly and talking to the skull in public draws too much attention. That’s why I was so quick to offer you a place to stay. I do better when there’s someone else to talk to.”

Loki’s eyes soften at the admission and he offers a small sad smile, “I’m lonely too.”

“Sentiment,” Sherlock says, voice dripping with so much disgust that Loki laughs echoing the detective’s sentiments. Sighing the detective glances at the God “Perhaps trying a relationship will be good for both of us?”

Loki hesitates, but nods slowly. “That would be acceptable.”

And that’s how a Consulting Detective and Norse God enter unfamiliar territory together. Both hoping desperately that they haven’t made a horrible mistake. Sherlock for his part is more concerned with doing something to hurt Loki further. Loki on the other hand is terrified at what this means or could lead to- he hasn’t had very good experiences with lovers thus far, and he hopes he won’t come to regret this.

The duo takes things slowly, as they are both unsure how to proceed. In a lot of ways, living with Loki is like living with John, but in other ways it’s entirely different. When there had been a dearth of cases sometimes, he and John would watch horrible daytime television, he would mock it and point out all the inaccuracies, stupidity, and how obviously scripted most of it was; and John would always simply shake his head and ask how he could tell. Loki, on the other hand would point out a fair amount of the idiocy himself, the God would scoff at how predictable it all was. Another difference that Sherlock was immediately aware of, was that Loki would sit right next to Sherlock, and as the days passed the God got a bit closer until they were close enough to accidentally brush against one another.

Loki is naturally curious and asks Sherlock a wide range of questions, this leads to in-depth discussions about a wide range of topics. While John would often try to get him back onto the original subject, Loki is content to allow Sherlock to get off track, and still listen intently. Loki seems content in general to just watch Sherlock go about his normal routine.

“Don’t you get bored?” Sherlock asks one day.

“Not particularly, I’m enjoying being able to simply relax. The duties of a prince are taxing, not that Thor would know… the oaf left me to take care of the real duties, while gallivanting around on various “quests”. The bitterness in the God’s voice is palpable.

“That’s why you dislike being alone?”

Loki glares, but then inclines his head in agreement. “I was always the odd one out. I never quite fit in, and the people made it well known which prince they favored. It’s not entirely the oaf’s fault, but he never once stood up for me, and he would ‘put me in my place’ often enough. And he wonders why I loathe him and his claims of brotherhood now.”

“Is that why you ran away?”

“Every time I forget your ability, you use it and astonish me again, though running away isn’t quite how I’d phrase it. I’ll admit I…. messed up, quite spectacularly. Everyone turned against me, not that they’d supported me before that, but generally they’d been somewhat more discreet. It was not entirely without reason- a fair amount of people died because of me, though I ultimately failed in my goals. However, when my brother did something similar, he was just banished, and no one thought of turning on him. Regardless, I escaped before they could capture me, slipped between the realms, and eventually found a small crack in the universe. It appeared in front of me, like the Norns themselves were urging me through it. So, I went, and I arrived here, and crack closed behind me. I should be safe here, my past is locked far away, and I’m not lonely anymore… so yes I’m content.”

Sherlock listens intently to the God, intrigued by his tale. “That sounds incredibly aggravating.”

Loki arches his brow, “That’s your response? I would’ve thought you’d been more concerned by my actions.”

“I’m really not. You killed people, I’ve killed people, it happens. If you don’t start killing again, I really don’t care.”

“I’m not sure if I should be comforted or concerned.”

Sherlock shrugs, “I’m a high functioning sociopath. I don’t like senseless murder and wouldn’t kill anyone myself unless necessary. I do enjoy the thrill of catching criminals, but the killing itself isn’t as abhorrent to me as it is some. John’s killed, I’ve killed, Lestrade’s killed… we all have had our reasons but that’s not to say some of the people we’ve caught haven’t as well. You’re not a psychopath and I care little beyond that.”

“You really are remarkable,” Loki says with a smile. “Your culture is so strict and controlled with its violence. I don’t think you’d be considered a sociopath on Asgard. If anything, you’d be considered weak for not enjoying the kill- the thrill of battle. All the warriors love killing their enemies and do so without thought.”

Sherlock frowns “I’m not sure I’d like Asgard.”

“Oh, you’d loathe it. Now, Vanaheim or Aflheim you might enjoy. They’re more… civilized and tolerant than Asgard. Perhaps, someday I can bring you to other realms. I’ll have to wait awhile until Asgard quits looking for me.”

Sherlock nods, wondering what other realms could hold.  _ What would they look like? What creature they might have. Did they have different poisons? A new way of tracking criminals? Different chemicals that could prove useful- _

Sherlock’s train of though is broken as Loki presses his lips against his own quickly in a chaste kiss before backing off, with his face red. Loki avoids eye contact, trying to regain his composure, silently willing the mortal to change the subject. Sherlock on the other hand is studying the God intently. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

Loki doesn’t respond verbally, but his face flushes further and he suddenly takes an interest in the sofa.

That was not Sherlock’s intention, so he tries again “It didn’t bother me. I was caught off guard, but it wasn’t bad...”

Loki relaxes somewhat and looks less like he wants to disappear. Until Sherlock continues, “… though it wasn’t good either.”

Sherlock watches in fascination as Loki’s entire body flushes a deep pink and he hurriedly tries to fix it “You could always try again?” the mortal offers.

The duo makes eye contact, and the absurdity of the situation hits them. They start snickering, which turns to giggles, and eventually full on laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. I'm kind of surprised that this has been viewed as much as it has been (even though it's still not a whole lot). I"m going to try and keep this updated.


	4. We All Fall Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki had some serious self-hatred and self-esteem issues. If you can be triggered by these things either avoid this chapter or at the very least don't read the last paragraph- specifically the italics.

Loki growls warningly at the mortal, eyes promising violence. Wisely, Sherlock backs off slightly giving the god space. Loki had been living with Sherlock for almost two months, and their relationship had been progressing smoothly. Over the course of time, Sherlock had come to realize that he was not in fact asexual or at least not to the extent he’d believed, rather the detective was somewhere between demisexual and asexual. Sex was not something he’d seek out, but he wasn’t entirely repulsed with the thought of having it with Loki. Loki had been very pleased when Sherlock had said as much, but still things had gone rather slowly, only picking up in the past few days.

Loki’s shoulders are tense even as the mortal moves away, and he scowls obviously trying his best to appear threatening- obviously to Sherlock at least. Sherlock ponders his options, knowing that Loki won’t react well to attempts to pacify him, still something needs to be said. “There’s nothing wrong with- “

“Don’t LIE!” The god snarls, eyes flashing dangerously.

“I’m not lying. Someone saying something you disagree with doesn’t mean they’re not being truthful. Honestly, it’s not a problem. I don’t think any less of you- “

“Then you’re a foolish creature! How can you not?!?”

Sherlock shrugs, “You’re different, so what. Normal is boring anyway.”

Some of the tension leaves Loki’s body, and he seems to finally accept that Sherlock is not bothered. The God rubs his temple all evidence of his previous aggressive behavior gone as swiftly as it had come. 

The entire debacle had happened quickly- One moment they’d been kissing and then that had led to groping one another, and then finally to slipping hands under shirts and trousers. That was when the trouble started- Sherlock had brushed over something unexpected and had barely recognized it as labia and had the fleeting thought that it was something which Loki should not have, although he wasn’t human so perhaps it was normal for Loki's species. Before he could truly react, Loki had shoved him away and proceeded to become extremely agitated- evidently, it was not normal.

They stare at one another, both thrown off by what had happened. There’s so many questions Sherlock wants to ask, but he’s learned it’s not wise to push Loki to discuss something he’s unwilling to talk about. Loki shifts unsure of himself, he’d not intended for the mortal to learn the truth about his deformity ever, an illusion or a change in form to hide it during any future lovemaking had been his original plan, but he’d been too careless and had been discovered for it.

Loki debates internally with himself, before giving up- the silence was maddening. “You want to ask something?”

The mortal nods, “Quite a lot.”

Despite himself, the God nods his ascent. _Why am I doing this? I don’t want to talk about this at all. Maybe the mortal isn’t disturbed or disgusted like he should be, but that doesn’t mean I should allow him to discuss it._

“Why does it bother you?”

Of all the questions that he could be asked, that was not one that Loki would ever have thought of. He gapes slightly “Sherlock, I’m a man how exactly would it not bother me? The Aesir hate anything womanly, can you imagine what they’d do if they knew that I … am deformed in such a way?”

Sherlock frowns, “The Aesir are idiots. It’s not what I’d call a deformity, an anomaly perhaps. Is it complete?”

Loki flushes and he gazes incredulously at the mortal “I – haven’t exactly studied it, nor am I an expert in woman’s anatomy.” _Norns damn these mortals and their “science.” What happened to the days when showing an ankle in pubic was scandalous?_

“Surely you’ve been taught the basic components?”

“It’s a quim? What else is there?”

“I take it sexual education is not commonplace in Asgard?”

“If you mean fucking around with random people then yes. If you’re asking about whether we’re taught the anatomical features of both sexes, then no.” _I would rather die than have my tutors try to talk to me about sex. Or worse Odin. I would have nightmares for centuries if they had. Hearing Thor and Fandral boast about their conquests and their endowments was torture enough._

Sherlock pauses, considering, Asgard was not nearly as advanced as one would expect. Perhaps the Aesir’s long lives meant they resisted change more than their human counterparts. “Do you menstruate?”

Loki flushes a deep shade of red and he opens and closes his mouth several times. _I hate him, Norns I hate him. Except you wouldn’t be humoring him if that was true._ “Is this really pertinent?”

“I think it is,” Sherlock says, watching Loki intently.

“Yes.” The God says quickly, barely able to get the single syllable out.

“Then you’re able to become pregnant?”

Loki scowls and inclines his head in confirmation. His past pregnancies had been forced on them and had not been pleasant, but the image of him round with Sherlock’s child flashes through his mind, and despite himself, he feels a wave of arousal wash through him at the thought. He was not sure what was more horrifying, his reaction to the mental image or the fact that Sherlock has almost certainly picked up on it.

As it turned out, Sherlock was very interested in his reproductive anatomy, and even though it still in equal parts aroused and horrified him, the God had allowed the mortal to poke and prod his abdomen and examine his quim- albeit in a very clinical fashion. The latter affair had been hasty as Loki was not keen on allowing his mortal to look too closely especially since doing so had arousal coursing through the God that he’d rather not be seen.

Loki and John take to each other well enough, after the disaster with Molly the God had been apprehensive about meeting Sherlock’s other friends. John’s snarky demeanor amused the God and his good-humored teasing of Sherlock had warmed the trickster up to him. John had been equally impressed with Loki’s quick wit and sharp tongue and had laughed about how “Loki and Sherlock were clearly made for one another.”

Sherlock’s cases begin to increase with the rising temperatures and Loki chuckles at the detective’s exuberance though had not been quite so pleased with his frequent absences. Even when Sherlock had conducted his experiments and wished to be unbothered, he’d still been present. The God of Mischief loathed being alone.

“Mortal, stay,” Loki commands as the detective tries to leave.

Sherlock rolls his eyes “I have a case. I’ll be back eventually, I need to meet John and Lestrade.”

Loki’s face breaks into a scowl, “They can wait, stay!”

Sherlock makes to leave, and Loki feeling desperate yanks the detective back towards him and captures his mouth in a kiss. The mortal hesitates for a second his mind warring between his desire and need for mental stimulation before giving in to Loki’s increasingly demanding kiss. It’s not entirely fair, but the mortal effortlessly takes control and Loki accepts- the God had learned long ago that despite his strength the mortal could not be usurped. Finally breaking apart Sherlock shakes his head at the God’s antics, “I still need to leave.”

Something inside of Loki shifts and things change from being a game to true desperation. The trickster slowly sinks to his knees- he loathes the vulnerable position and what it represents, but it’s what he hopes will do the job. “Stay” Loki breathes seductively, mouth nearly touching the detective’s crotch.

“No, Loki,” The detective says as he rushes out.

Loki barely registers the mortal’s departure, suddenly back on the Bifrost. He hears those words over and over in his mind, a mixture of Odin and Sherlock’s voices. And Loki breaks apart, treacherous voices invading his thoughts. _Stupid Jotun runt. Never good enough, never enough. Freak. Disappointment. Slut. Abomination. Should’ve been left on Jotunheim. Your birthright was to die. Monster. Jotun Monster. All Jotnar are monsters. Monster, Monster, Monster. Pathetic excuse for a prince. Disgusting repulsive, creature that should have been left to freeze._


	5. Friends and Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is mention of past rape in this chapter, but it's simply the story of Sleipnir.

Sherlock is true to his word and returns within a couple of hours, the detective is very surprised to find Loki curled up on the floor and clearly having a panic attack. The detective covers Loki with a blanket and wraps his arms around the shaking trickster. Sherlock sits silently with the god- he’s not entirely sure what brought this on or how to help Loki out of it, but he knows what helps him when he experiences sensory overload and hopes it’ll be enough to soothe Loki.

Eventually Loki’s mind clears enough to notice he’s surrounded by something soft and then he feels the arms that are holding him. “Sherlock?”

“Loki!” Sherlock sounds excited, his case must have been interesting. The blanket is pulled away enough to where Loki can see the mortal.

“I take it your case was interesting?”

“Hmm? Oh no it was a 5 at best, Lestrade could have solved it in a few weeks. What happened?”

How to answer that question? “I’m not entirely sure.” It’s not entirely true, but not quite a lie- he really isn’t sure what brought his desperation on to start with.

Sherlock doesn’t look convinced. “It was my fault wasn’t it. I knew something was different this morning. I was going to stay but I was a bit concerned with where things were going. I should’ve stayed it was immature of me to run like I did.”

It’s Loki’s turn to be surprised “I don’t understand?” Loki is entirely truthful at this time, he doesn’t understand why Sherlock would feel the need to run away.

“Things seemed to be taking a ah… sexual turn. It alarmed me, and I was afraid of what would happen. Overstimulation for me leads to sensory overloads, much like the panic attack you just experienced. I should’ve communicated, but as I said I was alarmed and fled rather than dealing with the issue.”

Loki blinks taking in his mortal’s words. “I believe I understand. I did not intend to push you, I’m not sure what made me act as I did, only that when you … rebuffed my advances I felt certain you would not return if you left. Your parting words awoke a very bad memory of when last I heard them, and the result was what you witnessed.”

Sherlock frowns, “I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to hurt you.” That was true, as often as Sherlock annoyed others it was mainly from apathy towards their feelings he rarely intended for his words, however sharp they may be, to hurt others. Loki was special, Sherlock may not be able to read Loki as easily as a typical human, but the detective had seen enough to know that Loki’s life had been filled with pain. Despite what others may think the detective knew enough about social interactions to understand that Loki’s emotional state was delicate.

“I believe we should both accept that things did not go as either of us intended and forget about it.”

“That is acceptable.”

* * *

Loki and Sherlock are lounging on the sofa while John sits in his chair typing away on his laptop. Loki isn’t entirely sure what John’s typing but Sherlock’s noises of disapproval indicate that it involves him. “John, what are you doing?”

“Writing my newest post for my blog. It’s about our last case with the poisonings of young children, I’m calling it _The Poison Child._

Sherlock groans at that “That’s entirely too fanciful.”

“What is a blog? I’m not familiar with that term” Allspeak may translate words of any language for him, but it doesn’t help when a word does not exist in his own tongue or show the nuances that mortals tend to employ with their wording.

John frowns slightly “It’s a bit like a mix between a magazine and a newspaper, but online. It can be about anything, but mine are about cases that Sherlock and I have had.”

“I see. So anyone can read your … posts?”

“Yes. We have some loyal followers and some aggravating ones, but anyone can find it. It’s pretty popular, despite Sherlock’s complaints about my writing style.”

Sherlock rolls his eyes “It should only contain the necessary information- the facts John, none of your romantic drivel.”

“And that’s why people read my blog and not yours. They don’t want a textbook for solving murders, they want a story.”

Loki watches intently, despite their arguments and frequent banter it’s clear that Sherlock and John are friends. It’s odd not seeing a hint of malice in arguments, normally when he’d argued with anyone on Asgard he’d been met with aggression or simply ignored. Perhaps Midgard wasn’t as bad as he’d originally thought, he doesn’t miss Asgard at all apart from mother- Frigga.

“Are you alright Loki?” Loki snaps out of his stupor to see John watching him in concern, while Sherlock’s gaze regards him intensely.

“I’m perfectly fine. Simply lost in thought.”

The conversation changes and eventually settles into issues with family members. It seems they all have issues with their siblings, Sherlock and Loki with their overbearing brothers, and John with his alcoholic sister. The trio actually talk for several hours before John has to leave. It’s not until much later when Loki is trying to sleep that he realizes that John and Sherlock had made an effort to include him and had changed their own conversation to do that. The God feels a rush of emotion at that and is incredibly grateful that he’s alone so that they won’t see how emotional he is.

* * *

As time passes, Loki settles more into his new life he’s happy now, with Sherlock as an almost lover, and maybe even a friend in John. Occasionally Loki will tag along with Sherlock and John and he’s not simply tolerated as he had been by Sif and the Warrior’s Three, they seem to actually enjoy his company and he their’s. One evening Loki falls asleep while he and Sherlock are watching something and wakes up wrapped in the detective’s arms. Loki feels pure unadulterated bliss, he’s safe and secure “I love you, Sherlock.”

The detective freezes and Loki panics not having realized he was awake “I didn’t mean- it’s acceptable if you don’t feel the same.”

Sherlock hesitates, “I’m not sure I know what love feels like. I like spending time with you and want to make you happy. I have a need to keep you safe. Is that love?”

“I- I believe so.”

The two are silent for awhile, each processing their feelings. Eventually Loki breaks the silence “May I kiss you?”

The detective nods in affirmation, and Loki captures his lips, it’s a gentle kiss, one full of feeling but not passion, almost chaste. Slowly the God pulls away and rests his forehead against the detective’s. “I love you, Sherlock. More than anything.”

“What about your family?”

“I’ve told you that Thor and Odin are not my family, Frigga- well I’m not certain how to feel.”

“What of your children?”

Loki goes quiet and he sighs wearily, “That is a very long tale.”

“I would like to hear it.”

Loki sighs, he understands the mortal’s thirst for knowledge but he isn’t looking forward to the conversation.

“Many centuries ago when I was a boy Asgard was at war. We needed fortifications to keep our citizens safe. A builder came and offered his services for an exorbitant price, as a child I was desperate to prove my worth to Odin’s counsel and suggested they accept but make an unreasonable time constraint. They did as I’d suggested but the builder was far more prodigious than we’d originally believed due in large part to his stallion which had more endurance than any horse we’d seen, the counsel blamed me and Freyja who was going to be forced to marry the builder wanted me dead, I was terrified and promised I’d fix things. I was not allowed to kill the builder or obviously hinder him as it would make us appear dishonorable, and the Aes love nothing more than their honor. “

Loki takes a deep breathe, trying to keep calm as he recounts the part that still pains him.

“So I tried to lead the stallion away, I couldn’t tempt him with food, so I changed myself into a mare and had him chase me. It worked as well as you’d expect, except this was the stallion whose endurance we’d marveled at- he ran me down until I could run no more and bred me. I was humiliated and the builder was so enraged he tried attacking Asgard and showed that he was a Jotun- he was killed almost immediately, making the whole thing pointless.”

Loki watches Sherlock’s reaction warily, the mortal doesn’t look disgusted, but sympathetic, so he keeps going.

“ I returned home, ashamed but secure in the fact that no one would know. Until I fell ill and it was discovered that I was pregnant. Mother, Father, and our head healer Eir were shocked and demanded I tell them what happened. I did, and everything went to Hel. I remember there was so much anger and thought it was directed at me, now though I’m not as certain. I cried and cried and eventually Eir gave me a sleeping drought. It didn’t work very well on me for some reason and I awoke far earlier than they’d expected. I heard them talking about getting rid of my child, and for some reason the thought horrified me. I ran away, slipped out of the palace into the Iron Woods, then turned myself into a mare and waited. I found a meadow in the woods and that’s where I spent my time, it was beautiful- all grass and flowers with a nice stream running through it, everything a horse could want.”

Sherlock offers the God a small encouraging smile “It sounds beautiful.”

“It was. The time came for my foal to be born and I tried, but I couldn’t birth him. I was so scared, I knew we were both going to die if I didn’t do anything. I was desperate and turned back into myself and sliced my belly open with a dagger. I don’t recall much more after that I don’t remember Sleipnir’s first breaths, only Heimdall picking me up while Sleipnir tried headbutting him. Evidently after I’d changed back, Heimdall had been able to find me and had hurried after, my colt was so protective of me that he’d bitten and kicked at Heimdall until he’d finally understood that I was being helped and not harmed. I came so close to death that day, I remember mother being hysterical and crying, I cried too, all I wanted was my baby, but Sleipnir had not been allowed inside the palace.”

Loki’s eyes shine with tears, “I hated it, I wanted to be with him constantly, but they wouldn’t allow it- ‘ _He’s perfectly fine. There’s broodmares to nurse him, Loki. People will talk._ ’ He was my baby I didn’t care what people thought. I snuck into the stables and fell asleep in his stall, and then people did talk. Rumors flew and before long I was being accused of being his mother. They didn’t address the rumors, to do so would give them credence, but they wouldn’t let me see him, and did everything they could to keep us apart. Odin took Sleipnir as his destrier and as such he was taken away to train and I saw him so little. He was always so clever, he figured out we could speak telepathically and we did. It helped to do that when we couldn’t see one another. I loved him, I still do, but I failed him so badly as a parent. I was so used to speaking telepathically that I rarely went to see him. Our conversations started to dwindle and I haven’t talked to him in so long…. he must hate me.”

Sherlock shakes his head, “He doesn’t. He loves you as much as you love him.”

“How can you possibly know that?”


	6. Past Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mentions past rape, but is not graphic.

“Everything you’ve told me. It’s clear he’s just as afraid as you. Considering the fact that your parents were so adamant in preventing your relationship and the nature of his conception, he likely believes you no longer want a relationship with him. Just as you believe he doesn’t want a relationship with you.”

Loki makes a strangled sound “Of course, not… I love him. It wasn’t his fault… It matters little now, I may never see him again.”

“You truly can’t go back home?”

“I don’t know. As I said my arrival here, was almost an accident, I saw an opportunity and I took it. Beyond that, I find it highly unlikely I’d be accepted so I’d have to sneak into the Royal Stables… The chances aren’t good.”

Sherlock sighs “I’m sorry, Loki. Truly.”

“Oh I’ve accepted my fate. I’m enjoying my time here, you mortals are so different than what I’m used to.”

There’s a lull in the conversation, but the silence is not uncomfortable. Sherlock toys with something internally. “Loki, would you care to share a bed with me? Just to sleep in.”

The God goes still, thinking- he’d rather enjoyed waking up with the mortal, but at the same time- “You must understand something. I’ve never admitted this to anyone, but it seems pertinent now. After Sleipnir’s birth I suffered and anguished over what had happened, everyone of Thor’s successes reminded me of my own failures- I was hopeless on the training grounds, swords, axes, maces, all were unsuitable for me. So I honed my seidr, magic if you will, and then there came a man who claimed to be a master of a branch of magic I had no experience in. He claimed to see potential in me and promised he would train me, but it would have to be in secret as Odin hated him. I was naive and desperate to prove myself…”

Sherlock bristles, he’s fairly certain he can see where this is going, and he does not like it at all.

“He did start to train me and I glowed with his praise. Thor had noticed me sneaking off and had come to the conclusion that I was meeting a lover, I let him believe it- afterall it was a good cover. Then he asked to be allowed passage into the Royal Palace, my wing specifically, to facilitate our training. Being the young fool I was, I agreed and granted him access. I- he came upon me one night while I was sleeping and - and - violated me. Then drug me away with him. He sired 3 children with me, and I being a guileless fool stayed. I only had the courage to leave when he knocked Fenris unconscious after the pup had tried to protect me. He followed us as we ran and nearly caught us, but we slipped into the gates of Asgard- he lost his temper and revealed himself to be a Jotun and was slaughtered by the einherjar- so vicious were they in their attack that there was little of him to recognize. When Thor found out he put one and one together and came up with four- obviously this was the women who I’d run away with and we’d had a lovers quarrel which had turned sour.”

Loki’s face is pale and the bitterness is palpable, “It was a good enough cover for me, my captor was dead and I had no desire for the truth to known. Mother and Father were furious at me, for leaving without word and then for being irresponsible enough to have children at such a young age- evidently they did not count Sleipnir. So for the first few days I was not allowed to stay in the palace, the children were as they were blameless, but  _ ‘Loki had got himself into the situation so he should be punished.’ _ I wandered the Iron Woods, and found rest in the meadow where Sleipnir had been born. Their anger eventually diminished enough to allow me to return, but then I had to sleep in  **_that_ ** bed. I couldn’t, I demanded a new one- and it set Odin off again. He was so stubborn… eventually I set fire to it. It was actually rather cathartic but Odin was furious. Mother started to catch on that something was wrong and started asking questions, but I lied to the best of my ability.”

The God shakes his head ruefully “I could never completely fool her, but she never understood the real issue, thankfully. She got me a new bed, and things were alright for a time. Until rumors started spreading about my children being prophesied to destroy Asgard and the rest of the nine realms. Jormungand was growing too large so Odin cast him out to Midgard, Hela’s power was too uncontrolled so he gave her her own realm with only the dead for company, and Fenris… he stayed longer than his siblings and we grew to be very close, but eventually he turned from pup to wolf and the people turned on him. He was tricked and chained, I don’t know where he is, I never saw him again after that day…” 

Sherlock stares, not sure how to respond to Loki’s tale. Loki lets out a tired sigh “I know you didn’t ask for this, but this is who I am. I’ve never been lucky, those I love suffer. Maybe things will be better for me in Midgard, I seem to have had better luck thus far. I would love to sleep with you, but I have so much … history that I don’t know what I’ll do. I trust you, and I felt safe when I woke up with you, but if I panic promise me that you’ll let me be. If I harm you I won’t forgive myself. If you can handle the possibility of … poor reactions I would like to try to share a bed with you, but I would understand if you did not in light of recent revelations.”

“Loki-” Sherlock can’t find the right words, what the man had gone through would be enough to drive most people insane. “You are incredible.”

“What?”

“How many people do you believe could survive everything you’ve gone through? People break for much less than that. It’s impressive to see you so sane.”

Loki laughs at that “I do not believe many would describe me as sane. I have been called mad, many many times.”

Sherlock shrugs “As have I. People like to talk, that doesn’t make them correct. Generally popular opinion is incorrect in some capacity.”

“Hmm, the Aes do tend to make quite a lot of mistakes, mostly due to their refusal to do anything but fight. Though I do admit, I may have been responsible for driving them mad, they’ve never been appreciative of my tricks,” Loki smirks, looking quite pleased with himself. Sherlock has no doubt that Loki had been the source of exasperation from many of his peers, but with everything he’d learned the detective can’t fault Loki for having an outlet.

Loki cocks his head at the detective, the action makes him look strangely younger and more vulnerable, and the detective feels a strange twinge in his chest as the God stares at him searchingly. “Are you regretting something, Sherlock?”

“Not at all, I’m more impressed by you now than I was originally. It’s not an easy feat to do so, I assure you.”

“For someone who hasn’t been in relationships before, you certainly seem to know exactly what to say.”

Sherlock smirks, “Well, I do know how to manipulate most people- they’re entirely too predictable. You’re different- God of Mischief.”

Despite himself, Loki feels a genuine smile grace his lips, quickly he transforms it into a smirk. “Well of course, I’m chaos incarnate!”

The detective shakes his head, “Not very humble are you?”

“I am a God and a prince. I have no need for humility.” The words themselves sound arrogant, but Sherlock can see that it’s simply a facade, one that has been perfected until it’s almost indistinguishable from the truth. Sherlock only sees through it as he’s gotten close to the man, otherwise it likely would’ve been able to fool even him.

“You are rather exceptional.”

Those simple words are enough to break through the illusion and Loki stares at the mortal in bewilderment. The mortal said such sweet things, and actually  _ meant _ them, he didn’t even seem to realize that he was doing it whereas most others only used honeyed words to attempt to manipulate the trickster.

Loki’s eyes soften as he stares at the detective, “Sherlock…”

_ What could he say to the mortal? It wasn’t as though he could be easily pleased, but didn’t Sherlock deserve something for listening and accepted the truth of what had happened with Angroboda. Silver tongue turned to lead indeed.  _

Gently, Loki kisses his detective on the cheek, doing his best to convey his gratitude to the mortal. Sherlock seems to understand and lays a comforting hand on the God’s back. Moments like this are precious to the God who wishes that they’d last forever. As it was he’d be lucky to have the mortal for a few measly decades, much less an Aesir lifetime, and that was if the mortal didn’t get bored of him before then.

The detective seems to pick up on Loki’s distress and pulls him into a hug, Loki positively melts into the embrace allowing his mind to rest just for a moment.


	7. Pondering the Future

As it turns out, Loki needn’t have worried about his reaction to sleeping with the mortal. He awakens fully rested for the first time in many years; the feeling of the mortal’s steady heartbeat soothing him. The mortal shifts behind him and Loki hopes that he’s not about to leave. The god feels Sherlock stretch behind him, “Good morning, Loki.”

  
“Good morn, Sherlock,” Loki says through a yawn, turning slightly to look at his almost lover with bleary eyes.

  
The detective looks him over quickly. “You slept well.”

  
Loki can’t help but smile at that. From most others it would be a question, but Sherlock’s unique abilities meant that there was no need for such trivial discussions. Seeing as there would be little point in denying the mortal’s deduction he nods in affirmation. “It would seem so. Quite lucky too, I’d hate to have to find a new mortal.”

  
Sherlock’s brow furrows for a scant few milliseconds analyzing the words before smoothing out. “I’m sure you’d find someone.”

  
“Hmmm. Perhaps. You’re rather unique, one of a kind even.” Loki’s voice softens on the latter half of his sentence showing the mortal that he’d simply been jesting earlier, he’s become quite attached to his detective.

  
“Of course. Are you ready to get up?”

  
Loki sighs, truthfully he’d like to sleep a little bit more, but he knows not to press his luck, “I suppose so.”

  
Sherlock eyes the God knowingly, “If you’d like to wait a little while we can, I don’t have a case at the moment.”

  
“Alright.” Loki tries to feign nonchalance but he doesn’t quite succeed in removing the smile from his face. The trickster lays back against his mortal clearly in an affectionate mood. Luckily Sherlock obliges and wraps his arms around the God. When Loki next wakes up he’s alone, but judging from the amount of light infiltrating the room, the mortal can hardly be blamed.  
Wandering downstairs, the God finds Sherlock in deep conversation with John. The little mortal smiles when he notices him and Loki can’t help but smirk back.

  
“Good morning, Loki.”

  
Chuckling internally at the repeated greeting, Loki responds in kind, “Good morn, John. I’m afraid I must’ve been indisposed for longer than intended.”

  
John snorts looking amused, “I’m not surprised, did Sherlock keep you up with his bloody violin?”

  
“Not at all, I’m simply not used to being able to sleep in without worry.”

  
The Doctor looks concerned at Loki’s statement but before he can inquire, they are distracted by the door opening. Loki observes the newcomer intently, he’s shorter than Sherlock and clearly his elder, but his movement is fluid and certain. Loki is fairly certain he knows who this is, based on Sherlock’s description and frequent complaints. Though from the look in the other man’s eyes the mortal had left out a few details. Sherlock for his part doesn’t even glance his way.

  
“Lestrade. What do you have for me?”

  
“Something different, you’re going to like it,” Lestrade eyes Loki and nearly moves on when something catches his eye, “You’re not in the client chair.”

  
“Excellent observation Lestrade,” Sherlock grouses voice dripping with sarcasm.

  
Lestrade is accustomed to Sherlock’s snark and turns to Loki instead, “Who are you?”

  
Now that is a loaded question, one Loki is not quite certain how to answer. Sherlock is about to say something snappish, but John cuts him off, “This is Loki, he’s Sherlock’s new roommate and boyfriend.”

  
“Boyfriend?” Lestrade and Sherlock repeat in unison.

  
“I’m not some teenager girl-”

  
“You have a boyfriend? Since when?”

  
John rolls his eyes, “What do you want me to call him? Loki do you have a problem with it?”

  
“Not particularly, though perhaps there’s something I’m missing in translation? This is not my primary language after all.”

  
Lestrade still isn’t satisfied with the revelation. “Now hang on a minute, Sherlock how long have you had a boyfriend?”

  
“Around 6 months. Shouldn’t you know? You’re constantly spying on me for Mycroft.”

  
The Detective Inspector huffs indignantly. “I am not. Only if I suspect you’re using again and I don’t just do whatever your brother order me to do. Why didn’t you tell me?” That confirms Loki’s suspicions, clearly Lestrade isn’t simply giving the mortal cases when he can’t solve them, the elder man cares for Sherlock in a paternal sort of way.

  
Sherlock stares at him for a second before answering. “Well to be fair, John only learned a few months in as well. I didn’t exactly hide it either, you could’ve asked.”

  
“Right. ‘Hey Sherlock, did you happen to get a boyfriend this weekend?’ I’m certain you would’ve taken that well.” Lestrade drawls voice dripping with sarcasm.

  
John nods at that, “Hmm, he’s got a point Sherlock. You could’ve mentioned it.”

  
Sherlock rolls his eyes, clearly aggravated. “Well why didn’t you tell him? If you’re all so interested in my personal life.”

  
“It wasn’t mine to tell, Sherlock.”  
Loki decides that he’d best chime in before things could escalate. “I’m certain it just slipped his mind, Detective Inspector. It’s surprising what things he deems unimportant.”

  
“You’re right about that.” Lestrade mutters still looking somewhat annoyed. “Sherlock you can tell me these things.”

  
Sherlock scowls “FINE! I didn't think everyone needed to know about my personal life,” the detective glances at Loki, “Besides I didn’t want to “out” Loki.”

  
Lestrade seems to calm at that, though Loki isn’t quite certain what the mortal is referring to but he gets the sense that he’s been used as an excuse. In any case Lestrade goes back to describing the case. John has to leave early to go to “the clinic” which leaves Loki listening to the description of a recent string of murders. Sherlock’s deductions are impressive as always and the God would be lying if he said it wasn’t incredibly attractive to watch. Loki is almost sad to see the elder mortal leave as it means that the show will stop- perhaps he can get the mortal to deduce something else?

  
Sherlock nods at Lestrade as he leaves, but the detective inspector pulls him into a quick hug. “I am happy for you, Sherlock.”Then stalks out of the flat, while Sherlock huffs and plops down next to Loki.

  
Loki smiles at Sherlock. “I liked him! You should have him over more often.” _And please feel free to deduce as you please._

  
Sherlock frowns slightly, observing the God. “You found him attractive?”

  
“He wasn’t bad looking, but that’s not why I want him around.” Loki deflates, displeased with the turn things had taken. _Does the mortal think I’m a whore? I shouldn’t have said anything. You always do this to yourself, when are you going to learn that your silvertongue gets you into trouble._

  
“I’ve hurt your feelings again.”

  
Loki shrugs, not wanting to get further into trouble. Sherlock however is observing him intently so the God feels compelled to speak. “He seemed nice enough and clearly cares for you.” That doesn’t quite seem to satisfy the detective. “Fine. I liked watching you make deductions, it was incredibly attractive!”

  
That does seem to make the mortal pause. “You… found it attractive?”

  
Face flushing in embarrassment, Loki does his best to avoid eye contact with the mortal. “Yes.”

  
Sherlock doesn’t quite seem to be able to process the fact. “You-”

  
“Yes!” Loki groans “Please stop repeating it, I know it’s foolish.”

  
“I don’t think it’s foolish, simply surprising. Most find my deductions aggravating.”

  
Loki smirks, “Most find me aggravating. That’s if they don’t feel something worse for me. ‘Oh Loki is always playing tricks so if anything goes wrong it’s his fault.’ You have no idea how often I was blamed for things I had no hand in. Admittedly I did sometimes get away with my wrongdoings so it may have balanced out.”

  
“It hurt you.” Sherlock states, gazing intently into Loki’s eyes.

  
“Perhaps it did at the time. It doesn’t bother me now.” They both know that it’s a lie, but Loki can’t bring himself to admit to such weakness. Surprisingly the mortal doesn’t call it out. Perhaps he loathes such displays as well. He certainly seems to hate the deficiencies present in most humans with their simple and over-emotional minds.

  
There is a moment of silence, but it’s comfortable, peaceful even. Both are loathe to ruin it with words. Loki smiles, feeling at ease. _This is why I chose this mortal. We are two of a kind, kin in soul and mind. This Midgard may pale in comparison to Asgard, but at least I am free here. The bright allure of freedom indeed… No pressures of the crown, no expectations from the people, no more large shadows cast by Thor and Odin. But also no more mother or children. That realization hurts, but Loki does his best to shrug it off. They’re better off without me. Mother doesn’t have to be ashamed of me any more and the children are grown and will do well without me. You don’t have to be Loki prince of Asgard you can just be **Loki.**_ Suddenly the God feels lighter.

  
A text tone breaks the mood. “Lestrade. He has new details on the case, evidently there’s been some deceit on the part of Mrs. Davies. I’m needed there.”

  
Loki hears the unspoken words. _Will you be alright this time? You aren’t going to melt into a pathetic puddle._ Perhaps the latter was not exactly what had been conveyed, but it was close enough. “I wish you luck on your case. May your work be fruitful.” _I’ll be fine, but come back when you can._

  
With Sherlock gone, Loki does a lot of thinking. Some may consider it to be having a mental break down or existential crisis, but Loki prefers to think of it as “Pondering the future.” As happy as he is to escape his past, it’s also terrifying to start everything over again. His knowledge of Midgard is lackluster, and he has little aside from his silvertongue and his Seidr. Of course his seidr alone would enable him to survive, but if he were ever to be on his own it would be exceedingly difficult… As a prince he’d never exactly had to work, but occasionally people would pay him for spells.

  
I _n a worse case scenario I could use my Seidr to hide and steal from mortals, though I doubt Sherlock would allow me to be in such a situation._ Loki nods to himself, mostly satisfied that his future is not in jeopardy when a treacherous part of his mind whispers an ugly truth. He’s a mortal, he’ll be dead within a century. Then where will you be? Alone in an unfamiliar realm in a different reality.  
Loki swallows hard, escaping the past was his goal but being so incredibly isolated… was it truly worth it? The mortal’s smiling face flashes through his mind and Loki nods to himself, being loved even if for a short time is better than being unloved for the rest of one's life.


	8. Lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some pretty mild sexual content. Also, Loki being Loki, and mentions of past rape.

Loki lies with Sherlock, head nuzzled under the mortal’s chin. He may be the God of lies, but even he has to admit that it's a comfortable position that makes him feel safe. There’s a shift as Sherlock moves and Loki instinctively wraps his arms around the mortal, wanting to keep him there. The God’s cheeks flush in embarrassment- he really didn’t mean to be so clingy- it had always aggravated him when a lover would do such things. Luckily the mortal doesn’t seem to mind. Loki himself hadn’t been quite so kind to any who would attempt to cuddle with him.  _ Perhaps I was a bit cruel? Then again they really didn’t care about me- any warm body would’ve done. No, their attempts at closeness were distasteful- you don’t do that with a quick lay. Well Loki, maybe if you hadn’t had sex with random women you wouldn’t have had that problem... _

“Loki? Are you all right?” Sherlock stares at Loki intently, something is upsetting the God-his muscles are tense and his body stiff.

“Just lost in thought. It seems to be happening quite often around you.”

Sherlock frowns, “I keep doing things incorrectly.”

It’s Loki’s turn to be concerned, “Of course not. You’re always kind, it’s me who ‘fucks things up’ as you mortals say.”

“I’m not kind.” Sherlock seems almost offended by the idea.

“You are. You’re not perfect, but you’ve been kind to me. You comfort me, and do everything you can to help me.” Loki smiles softly, “I really do love you.”

Sherlock kisses the God softly, and Loki smiles into it. It’s Loki that deepens the kiss, but Sherlock takes control. Suddenly Loki  _ wants  _ the mortal, in a way that he hasn’t quite felt before. Perhaps Sherlock senses the change because he isn’t surprised when his shirt vanishes along with Loki’s. The duo stare at one another communicating silently.  _ Is that alright? How far will you go?  _ The answer to the former is a firm yes on both sides, but the latter is up in the air. Loki takes a deep breath, this is what he wants but he’s nervous- mortals are delicate and he’s woefully inexperienced with men. 

Sensing Loki’s tension the detective kisses his neck, bringing the God back to the present in the best way. The trickster groans, giving the detective more access and trails his hands over the mortal’s chest. That gets a reaction, so Loki continues stroking the mortal’s torso. Sherlock pauses trying to gather his wits but Loki is doing a good job of distracting him, finally, he settles for kissing the God’s chest. Loki makes a small sound, it’s been such a long time that every little thing the mortal does feels exquisite. The mortal seems to be in a similar state, so Loki decides to take a chance. The God rocks his straining erection against Sherlock’s and is rewarded with a gasp. Loki half howls half moans as the mortal responds in kind- his leather trousers provide a great amount of friction but are constricting to the point of being painful. 

It’s quick, dirty, and undignified, but Loki can’t bring himself to care, instead focusing on grinding into the mortal. Very soon, the duo are a sweating mess and Loki knows he’s not going to last much longer. The God picks up the pace, hoping that the mortal is just as close. Finally, Loki orgasms with a groan and collapses, feeling boneless, he’s only vaguely aware of the mortal slumping over next to him.

It’s the mortal that finds his voice first, “Well that was certainly something,” he chuckles, sounding amused.

Loki can’t bring himself to care; still boneless in a post-coital daze, “Mmmphh.” The God internally debates whether or not to attempt to pull the mortal closer. Feeling the mortal shift, Loki glances at him only to see him pull himself up. “You’re leaving?” Despite his best efforts, he can’t quite keep the disappointment out of his voice.

“I was just going to change-”

Loki gives a wave of his hand, and suddenly the stickiness of their soiled trousers disappears. A second later and a wave of magic rushes over them, causing the sweat to vanish from their skin in a magical version of a shower.

Sherlock smirks approvingly, “That’s incredibly convenient.” Loki tugs him closer, and Sherlock takes the hint and wraps his arms around the God. Loki makes a noise of approval, and despite himself, Sherlock feels a wave of affection and gives a chaste kiss to the God’s neck.

Loki quirks his brow. “My my, are we trying for a second round? You’ve really gone off the ‘asexual’ thing haven’t you?”

“You’re incorrigible. You know perfectly well that I wasn’t starting anything.” 

The God arches his neck, staring at the Detective’s chest. “Hmm, I’m out of practice, but I’m certain you can get me back to peak performance.” Twisting his body, Loki gives the mortal a quick peck on the lips. “Another time perhaps.” 

It doesn’t take long for the God to fall asleep even with his trousers still on, but Sherlock lies awake mind racing. For all of Loki’s bravado, he’s had horrible experiences with men. The probability of things going smoothly is incredibly slim, but there may be things that could help with the process. At the moment, Loki fully believes that he will be the one taking, while Sherlock will be taken. That’s not what the God actually wants and it’s painfully obvious to the detective, but as ever Loki is imperceptive about himself. So how will Loki react to Sherlock trying to take him? There are many possible scenarios, but few positive outcomes. Truthfully, Sherlock isn't very concerned either way- he would let Loki fuck him if it made him happy, the problem is that he rather doubts it will. Is it better to go along with Loki, or to show him what he so clearly wants? Loki makes a noise in his sleep, and Sherlock soothes him, stroking his hair, which was remarkably soft and silky. The God quiets and nuzzles closer to the mortal. “You’re safe. No one can hurt you here.” The detective whispers, and soon Sherlock’s eyes grow heavy and he too sleeps.

Loki wakes up, still wrapped in the mortal’s arms, back securely against Sherlock’s chest. Through bleary eyes, he notices the lack of light- it’s clearly too early to be getting up. He settles down, about to return to sleep when he feels something odd. Loki’s face flushes as he registers that it is, in fact, the mortal’s clothed cock pressed against his arse. It takes him far longer than it should’ve to realize what exactly it was, but in fairness, their trousers had masked it. However, his problem isn’t the mortal or how long it took him to recognize what it was- it’s his reaction to it. No sooner had the realization hit him than he’s pressed back against it. There’s a horrible shrieking sound and it startles the mortal awake.

“Loki? What’s wrong?”

It’s at that moment that he realizes that the sound was coming from his own mouth. Snapping his jaw shut, the God’s face flushes deeply. “Nothing. I- uhh. I’m a fool.”  _ IDIOT. What in Helheim is wrong with you? So the mortal was a bit excited, that’s normal, you grinding against him while he sleeps is certainly NOT. And why would you do that- you don’t want him like that- not in you. Oh no. oh no. oh no oh no oh no oh no- _

“Loki?!” The detective yells, hoping to snap him out of it. The God is nearly hyperventilating again.

Loki looks up at him helplessly, “I don’t- I can’t. I don’t want it like that. Please. I don’t want it, not like that.”

Sherlock starts in surprise trying to figure out what the trickster was talking about. It hits him suddenly and he almost groans- how had they gotten here so quickly? “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to-”

“But I do want to,” Loki laughs coldly with tears streaming down his face, “I want to because I’m a disgusting freak. Why would I want that, after what they did? Somethings wrong with me. What if they didn’t rape me, and I’m just a slut-”

“They raped you. You liking men doesn’t mean it wasn’t rape just because it was done by a man. Women who are raped by men often like men, but that doesn’t mean that they weren’t raped, the same goes for you. Disregarding that, you were still underage when it happened, no matter which way you look at it, it wasn’t your fault.”

Loki sniffs, “But why would I want it like that? Why would I want you to- to fuck me when I know how much it hurts?”

That’s a loaded question. “People are complicated. If it helps, it shouldn’t be painful if you’re properly prepared.” Sherlock stares at Loki, unsure of what exactly to say.

Loki gives a small smile, the mortal is clearly trying and he does feel a little less hollow. “Prepared?”

“Umm yes. Using lubricant, and fingers to stretch the rectum-”

Cheeks flushing again the God stares wide-eyed at the mortal’s bluntness. “You- I- Mortal. Can we talk about something else? Anything?”  _ I don’t want to think about this now. I still can’t believe I want you to fuck me. Why? _

“Of course. I thought you wanted to know.”

Loki takes a deep breath ”Sherlock… I- I don’t think I’ll be able to do that… for a long time.”

“That’s fine. Remember, I’m the semi-asexual one. I just want you to be happy. Please don’t feel pressured to do anything you’re not ready for.”


End file.
